Week One-Tuesday-Mental Aspects

 There was a time when I could tell you all the bad things about me.  How I was not skinny enough, was ugly, unworthy, undeserving and  stupid. I would look at myself in the mirror and be disgusted by what looked back at me, not all the time but when I was feeling pretty low.
I had never had much confidence, particularly around new people or situations, had horrendous low self esteem and self image all of which I think contributed to issues with depression and eating disorders throughout my adult life.  I am so thankful that I no longer feel this way.
I cannot emphasise how important that we recognise and validate our emotions and feelings.  I know that I have used my eating disorder in the past to feel numb, to stop myself from feeling the hurt of betrayal, the pain of bereavement, the loss of friendship.  I didn't want to accept that what I was feeling was real, but all that happened was it cut deeper into me, making me more ill, more depressed and sending me into a spiral of behaviours that were destroying my life.
I came across a diary that I had written in 2010 and it is painful to read. I wasn't dealing with the emotions I was feeling in a positive way, I wasn't nurturing my body or  my mind.
It has only been since completing the challenges over the past few months that I realised I was still trying to deal with some things I was feeling.  This time I approached them head on and told someone. It helped, just to write it down and press 'send,'  I'm so glad I did.

So how did I stop feeling so bad about myself..........

Discourage Fat talk amongst yourself and your friends.

I ditched the bathroom scales.

Take responsibility and act on it.

Forgive yourself and others before it eats away at you.

Speak up.....