Wednesday, 28 November 2012

readership award.

I was recently given a Wonderful Team Member Readership Award from a fellow blogger, Purple Dreamer. PD :)  I met through a 'blogging for well being' challenge and has been a source of smiles, humour, great quotes and above all inspiration since we shared writing.
I now need to send this pic and award to other bloggers, answer questions, put pic on my side bar.....hang on, this is all a little bit technical for me so I will stick with the easy bit!!
 Purple Dreamer, Thank You. xxxx

1. Why do you blog?
I first started blogging for a combination of reasons. I was in the early stages of recovery from Anorexia and came across blogging on the film 'Julie & Julia' alongside reading a blog from a wonderful young Australian Lady in recovery who I still have virtual contact with to this day.
Originally it was a bit of fun, a way of logging my progress and putting down my thoughts. My blog has evolved along with me. It has grown with me. I had problems when recovered as what to do with it now??  What do I write about when I'm well.....thanks to the blogging challenges I have been given inspiration, a platform to hopefully give others hope and a voice.

2) If you were trapped on a desert island, what book, DVD, food, cartoon character, and childhood game would you bring?

Ooh, my favourite book would have to be 'How to be a woman,' by Caitlin Moran. Although I do prefer the audio version read by herself. I love the bit when she spills red wine on a cream carpet and shouts 'F**k very loudly. If you haven't read it, try it. Hilarious.
DVD would have to be 'Love Actually,' the marmite of Xmas movies. I want bye bye baby played at my funeral :) I would watch it whilst eating cheesy nachos and drinking toffee apple cider.
I would bring Mr Tickle with me and have great fun whilst playing with a hoola hoop. I was going to choose roller skates but they would seriously suck on sand!!!

3) Share a funny joke or one-liner.  

When I was a kid I used to pray for a new bike. I then realised the Lord didn't work that way so instead I stole one and asked for forgiveness.

4) What is your favourite thing about yourself?

If its a physical thing it would be my eyes. A personal attribute would be to try and see the good in everyone.

5) What one word best describes you?


6) If you could have a lifetime supply of any candy/candy bar, what would it be?

Without a shadow of a doubt, Ferrero Rocher. They have to be eaten in a particular way, nibble the nuts, separate the wafer, lick the chocolate and savour the nut in the middle. Lush.

7) What fictional character do you relate to most? 

Ana from 50 shades of Grey ;) I wish.......

8) If you were to write the story of your life, what would you call it?

Tell me I can't, I will.

Domestic Bliss

Image-Lauren Lemon

Today I feel like this,
Drowning in domestic bliss,
Strangled by the steam iron cord,
Weighed down and feel ignored.

Today I feel like this,
Laundry overflowing, socks gone amiss,
Dinners burnt and coffee is cold,
Condensation turning into mould.

Today I feel like this,
I remember our first tender  kiss,
The touch of your hand on mine,
And remember, take stock and shine.

Monday, 12 November 2012



From darkness comes light,
The truth will shine through,
Believe you have the strength to fight,
The strength to find the real you.

Grasp tightly the power,
Hold on to what you believe,
Let your hair down from the tower,
No long trapped you can achieve.

Feel the breeze through your hair,
Your heart beating at your breast,
Your lungs taking in air,
Your body no longer oppressed.

Jackie 2012

I have Fat

Yes, you heard me correctly, 'I have fat.'  Its started creeping up slowly, coating the tops of my thighs, cushioning my bottom and giving me a tummy which represents more of a cottage loaf than a muffin top!
I've noticed my chin is starting to get a little comfy and is inviting its friend to join it. My back appears to be growing boobs of its own and all in time for wearing a slinky little number at Christmas.
Am I OK with this? Yes and no.....
I'm not going to start getting depressed, living on lettuce and power walking to work. I will rationalise my thoughts and put this into perspective.  
We all have fat, some more than others.  We need a certain amount of fat to keep us warm, protect our internal organs and store energy.  Unfortunately my fat appears to have settled rather unevenly, so what can I do about it?
I will certainly not diet, I like cake and cider too much :)
Exercise is difficult at the moment due to hip pain.
The only way forward is acceptance, this is part of me and will stay here until it is ready to shift sensibly.
My belly does not make me have a bad day at work, it doesn't stop my family and friends from loving me, it doesn't affect my ability to enjoy myself on an evening out.
I have fat, I am not fat.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

21st Century torture device-the bathroom scale!!

Twice in the past month I have had to think about the dreaded bathroom scales.
I recently went for my hip check up as I will be having my pins removed in January. As part of my  pre- operative assessment I needed the usual health checks, blood pressure, height and Weight!!!
The look on the nurses face was a picture when I asked to be weighed backwards. :)  I didn't feel the need to explain myself........
Some of you may have read about my Mum-In-Laws recent hip fracture and illness.  A consequence of this was that she lost a fair amount of weight and this needed monitoring. the local dementia unit were responsible for this until I recently found out they had no scales as they were broken!!  There answer to this was to ask me to purchase some for Mum to use at home.
I thought this a perfectly reasonable request until I started to write the word 'scales' down on a notepad.
I was filled with absolute dread at the thought of being in a house each day where I could get easy access to  a small platform which you could shatter your day in few seconds.
I was taken straight back to 'those days.'

Bathroom Scales.
Rules for use.

1.  Step on them several times a day including; upon waking, before and after bathing, before and after dressing, undressing, before and after eating, drinking, peeing, pooping!!

2.  Move around the bathroom floor if they give you the wrong result, try moving them to another room if that doesn't work.

3.  If the number is too high let it ruin your day. Cry a lot, feel really guilty about yourself and then restrict your food intake .

4.  If the number has gone down feel really good for about 2 minutes, then continue to restrict your food intake until it goes down even further.

5.  Don't even bother trying to go away from home, on holiday or anywhere you cannot gain access to these dreadful machines.  You will be tied to them to tell you how you should feel.

After a brief pause of silence on the phone I suggested to the support worker if she needed me to give her managers a push to purchase scales I would, but I was not willing to buy any for the house.  
Its not that I don't trust myself, I just do not want to be put in a position of temptation or failure.
One of the most empowering feelings I ever had was smashing up my bathroom scales with a hammer, I do not need them to tell me how healthy I am or how much worth I have. I know my weight will fluctuate, the waist band on my jeans will tell me that!!

Its been too long.

I hadn't realised its been over 2 weeks since my last blog post, and I have missed it so much.#
Things have been a bit hectic at home.  My Mum in law had a fall 2 months ago resulting in a fractured hip, an operation, stay in hospital and therefore needing more care at home.  As you can imagine the organisation, extra time caring for her and related stresses has had an impact on our home life and spare time.  We have had to prioritise within our daily routines and writing has not been on the top of my agenda.
Thankfully things are settling down. We still have the same commitments but we are getting used to the new routines, I am hoping to put time aside each Sunday now to write.
Watch this space. :)

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