January 14th. Believe

"You may be able to deceive those around you, but you can't deceive yourself"

"Keep your face in the sunshine and you will never see the shadow"... unknown,

"Never forget you are worth more than the value you place on yourself"

Day 29 This Is My Song

Choose a song which means something to you. It can be one you wrote yourself, it can be about EDs and/or recovery, it can be something that you feel is generally positive, uplifting and/or encouraging. Post the song title, artist and lyrics and write about what this song means to you and how it has helped you during your journey. Give as much detail as you are able to do.

Amy MacDonald

This Pretty Face.

I don't care
Who does her hair or
What clothes she wears
I don't care if it's Y.S.L. I don't care if it's Chanel
What matters to me is a strong belief
All this beauty is skin deep
Don't care about hair, don't care about eyes
It's about what's inside

You'll never know who you'll meet on you way to the top
You'll probably see them again when your fame starts to drop
Down down, I'll meet you on the ground
It's no good with your hair and your shiny blue eyes
It's no good when you finally start to realize
I need something more
This pretty face don't work no more

What happened to achieving
What happened to believing in yourself
Why listen to the musings of someone, somebody else
I'm sorry I don't see and I can't quite believe it anymore
What happened to believing that beauty's in the eye of the beholder

You'll never know who you'll meet on you way to the top
You'll probably see them again when your fame starts to drop
Down down, I'll meet you on the ground
It's no good with your hair and your shiny blue eyes
It's no good when you finally start to realize
I need something more
This pretty face don't work no more

You'll never know who you'll meet on you way to the top
You'll probably see them again when your fame starts to drop
Down down, I'll meet you on the ground
It's no good with your hair and your shiny blue eyes
It's no good when you finally start to realize
I need something more
This pretty face don't work no more

Apart from the fact that Amy MacDonald is a wonderful singer/songwriter and this song has a wicked uplifting melody line, for me the words mean so much. Our society has changed so much and there is so much emphasis put on physical beauty and attributes.I particularly like the line You'll probably see them again when your fame starts to drop as realistically fame wont be the only thing dropping or sagging.

I could have picked several other songs such as Ingrid Michaelson, Be OK, or Fix You by Coldplay but I picked this one for a particular reason.

Yesterday I sat in a clinic in Harley Street in London waiting for someone very special to me to have Botox.  She is 29 and bloody beautiful.Whilst she was having her consultation I sat in a very posh waiting room, with airbrushed models on posters on the walls telling me how wonderful I would look after having the top layer of my skin peeled off or being injected with botulism!!!

I couldn't help but wonder as I looked around the room at the people coming and going, what they were having done. They all looked so perfect, wonderfully groomed, shiny hair, white straight teeth, pert boobs........I was beginning to feel anxious. What on earth did they think about me?  I seriously began to feel ugly!!!  At that point I wished I had post it notes in my handbag so I could leave messages inside the beauty magazines and before and after brochures and tell these people they were wasting their time and money as they didn't need it.

I don't have an issue with cosmetic surgery but I have an issue with professionals making money out of others insecurities when they do not need something doing.

The sad thing is that despite my nagging and  'youre beautiful as you are,' speeches, she still had the Botox done!!

Day 23. Choose a quote that means something to you

Share the quote. Where did this quote come from? Who said/wrote it? What does it mean to you? Why? How has it helped you?

This is taken from a greetings card given to me by a friend when I was going through recovery.  It acknowledges recovery as a process and a journey.  I have it on my fridge along with other inspirational pictures and messages to remind me of what I have achieved and what I have to live for.

BELIEVE

Every Goal that has ever been reached

began with just one step

and the belief it could be attained

Dreams really can come true

but they are most often the result

of hard work, determination

and persistence.

When the end of the journey

seems impossible to reach,

remember that all you need to do

is take one more step.

Stay focused on your goal

and remember...

each small step

will bring you a little closer.

When the road becomes hard to travel

and it feels as if you'll never reach the end...

look deep in your heart

and you will find strength you never knew you had,

Believe in yourself,

and remember that I believe in you too.

Jason Blume

Another card given to me on my Birthday read,

If I could give you just one gift on your Birthday,

I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.

Only then you would realise how special you are.

Photos of my fridge which is a haven of cupcakes, gorgeousness and inspiration.

My cupcake obsession 

Birthday card from my son and inspirational verses

Musical card which plays a song 'you are beautiful'

last Birthday card from Mum which I had after she died :(