I am sorry

I am sorry.....

My heart feels like a knife has been driven through it.

Therapy brought up feelings of sadness, shame, disgust, embarrassment.

At the moment I don't want to feel. Feeling hurts.

It was like being back there, in that moment.  I tried so hard not to cry, not to show my weakness.

There were so many things I wanted to say and so many reasons why I couldn't.

Today I learnt of a friend of a friend who has died.  She was young, she was beautiful, she needed help.

I feel for her family and those she left behind.

I feel for those I love, those who find it hard to cope being around me because I upset them too much.

I feel for the child that I nurtured, who I care for deeply who is hurting. 

I have caused that pain and it only adds to mine.

What you are feeling, I am feeling too.

I Am Woman

I Am Woman.

I am.

A woman with a story,

Who breathes in life and exhales hope.

A Woman with a family

Who struggles sometimes to cope.

A Woman with a past,

That often darkens my dream,

A Woman with a future,

So bright you can see it gleam,

A Woman with a passion,

For belief in what is right,

A Woman who has won a battle

Who won't give up the fight.

I am Woman

Jackie