Tuesday, 24 May 2011

believing in yourself

Have been looking back on my 'Wish List' which I wrote in February.  The list of my hopes for the future, my goals and what I want to achieve with my recovery, and haven't I done well!!!

I haven't changed my plate size yet, so my portion sizes are possibly still on the small side but there has been improvement.
I now eat virtually the same as the rest of my family, occasionally I may have a bit of a swop with the carbs or protein but again, I'm getting there.
I do not rely on alcohol to eat a takeaway.  Instead, If I'm hungry I will go for the healthier option, ditch the kebab and go home and make a sarnie. 
Sandwiches!!!!! yes..I am now eating bread.  And I have to say I love the way it tastes, I love the smell and the fact there are a multitude of scrummy things you can put inside it.
I have no urges to over eat, I have 3 meals a day and nibble on snacks when at work.  I have started to become very tired and often dizzy which I think is my body telling me it needs more fuel to work, I listen to my body and refuel it. (thank goodness for graze boxes)   Makes sense.  My metabolism has changed and I need to recognise this.
If I want chocolate or biscuits, I eat them.  I deserve them.  I can stop before eating the whole bar but if I don't, no problem.  Tomorrow I wont be the size of a hippo I will still be me.
My thoughts are not flooded with food, what to eat or not eat.  I look forward to shopping, I am enjoying buying and trying foods I haven't eaten in ages....it is like a whole new experience and I cant wait for the new day to start when I can feel it all again.
I have no idea what I weigh and have no desire to find out.  I am aware that some of my clothes are getting tighter so I shall but new ones.

I still have insecurities about the way I look and I doubt I will ever lose them.  But I am dealing with these, I am trying to love myself inside and out.
It is support group in 2 weeks, I thought about not going, telling myself I don't need it anymore.  Maybe I don't.  What I do know is that the other group members need to know that there is hope, you can beat it, they are strong enough, and for that reason I need to attend and believe in them too.

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