Had my fortnightly meet and weigh in with the ED nurse today and good news, I have progressed from having an anorexic BMI to being underweight. How good I feel to have lost that label......
But eating disorders are not all about BMI, they are about how you feel, your self esteem, your self image and your relationship with food.
The decision to give up your eating disorder is one of the most difficult things you can do. By decision I do not mean you can change things overnight, that can never happen. Ultimately the choice is simple, live or die....and I chose to live.
Each day can still be a struggle but I am a stronger person and able to challenge my thoughts, able to fight against the disordered thinking and win. I may not eat the same as my family, I may still choose the diet or low fat option, I still struggle with food shopping, I still have safe and unsafe foods, I worry what people will think if they see me eating cake!!!! BUT.....I am healthy, I am happy, I eat regularly, I am moving on.
I have learnt what my triggers are and if there is a next time, I will be ready to bite back.....
I have an appointment with the ED nurse in July, she wont discharge me yet so fingers crossed for next time.
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