How to be BeYOUtiful.

A little update on what I have been involved in recently with Body Gossip. Many of you replied to my request for volunteers to be interviewed about their bodies. A huge thanks to those who I managed to get to and an apology to the volunteers that I couldn't get to do. But don't despair, Body Gossip are still wanting to hear your body story, details of how to do this can be found at this link. 

A lot of your body thoughts made me smile and laugh, but there was a common ground as most of you were not happy with parts of your body because of how they look....and this makes me sad :( 

The reasons for you feeling this way were many, but mostly down to life experiences, growing up or from external and media influences. 

Positive self image is so important....I have had many years of feeling ugly, too fat, too thin and generally picking myself apart. I know how it feels.

Throughout my recovery from Anorexia I had many conflicting opinions in my head about weight issues.

I will admit in the past to possibly being fat phobic and buying into the media tales of overweight people being a drain on the NHS or being lazy. I wasn't born thinking this, the same as people are not born racist or homophobic...these are attitudes you learn and they are attitudes that can change...you can also help make that change.

 This is why organisations like Body Gossip are so needed. They promote the message that every body is beautiful, no matter what size, what age, what race, what gender, and no matter what anyone else tries to tell you.

If you want to dye your hair pink do it! (school holidays only!!!) It you want piercings, do it! (remember health and safety ;) If you want to lose weight, do it! If you want to wear socks and sandals, do it!!  

All  joking aside, whatever you choose for your body do it for YOU, because YOU want to. Not because the magazines or TV tell you that you need to look a certain way, dress a certain way or be a certain size. 

This is YOUR life, this is YOUR choice, this is YOUR body!! You are an individual. BeYOUtiful.

I first came across Body Gossip when I was in recovery, and the first thing I saw was this video.  From there I came across their website, sent my body stories in to their Body Gossip Book and that's where my involvement started.

If you haven't checked out the You Tube channel I would highly recommend it. As well as the videos, Body Gossip run a Gossip School which are self-esteem classes organised in schools across the country.......

but back to the original story, the interviews.

Now the interviews have been collected from lots of people across the country, they will be turned into a stage show. Imagine that....... your body thoughts could be on a stage in London (South bank centre currently, not Drury Lane) and acted out by Celebrities.   Cue the, "who would play you in the story of your life?" question.  Blooming amazing........

If all goes well and the projected can get the funding, the show could tour and your voices could be heard across the UK....doubly amazing.

In a way, I could now say I have seen it done it and got the T-Shirt......  how could I forget the T Shirts

Picture of me wearing my BG BeYOUtiful TShirt after the flash mob

Body Gossip Ruth & Curvy Kate lingerie models showing off their T-Shirts. Wearing of trousers is optional

I love this design

My Favourite......

And for the little ones....

      

Body Gossip Shirts are available from Supadupa.com. They are a practical, stylish and fun way of supporting a positive body image campaign. Lets see if we can make a positive change together. xxx

Stretch Marks, Back Fat And All Things Body Gossip.

The past few weeks have been really hectic with training for a walking Marathon, the emotional turmoil of dealing with my Eldest Sisters diagnosis of Cancer and the weekend travelling to London to visit and offer support. In between all this I have been collecting spoken word interviews from a diverse group of people for the new Body Gossip show due to be scripted for the South Bank Centre in London in October.... and this is what I want to tell you about.
Body Gossip want to showcase our real body thoughts, how we feel about our bodies, what influences us, what we would change if we could, what we find attractive in a partner and a whole lot more.
So far I have spoken to a wide cross section of people. Both genders, a variety of ages, cultures, sizes and races. A lot of what people had to say I expected, but there was a lot which surprised me, saddened me and made me laugh. We spoke about boobs, bums, stretch marks, tattoos, scars, labia's, tummy's,belly buttons, willies, fat, the media and so much more.

So far I have interviewed a woman of 65 who is a naturist.
A Mother (47) with her Sister (30) and 2 children (23+26)
A married couple in their early 60's.
A Mother of 2 who is a pole fitness instructor.
A Man who has lost an incredible amount of weight using a commercial weight loss plan.
2 young men both aged 24.
A woman of 21.
4 women between the ages of 20-35 who are members of the W.I,
Each person had their own unique story to tell, whether it was focused on childbirth, weight loss or acceptance of how they look, each was as important as the other.

One of the people mentioned above was Mitch who lost over 11 stone. At first I had reservations over meeting him. I knew him locally as the front man in a few local bands, but I had my doubts as he was a consultant for a major weight loss company.
I met him in the consulting rooms at his 'wellbeing centre.'  Initially my first reaction to this room was negative. I was faced with a pair of weighing scales in the middle, floor to ceiling of weight loss products and artificial models of pounds of fat on a bookcase!! This was everything that I was not about.
I wanted to turn on my heels and run away but instead I sat my lycra clad bottom (in my running gear) on his leather sofa and sweated it out.
I can safely say I made the right choice. Mitch is an amazing man. He has totally turned his life around and made a lifestyle change for the better.
My regular readers know my opinions on massive diet corporations but I am pleased that Mitch has a balanced view. He recognises the connections between food, thinking and emotions, he doesn't promote a quick fix but takes a holistic approach.
He also has an amazing sense of humour and isn't afraid to talk about his Willie ;) Thanks Mitch xxx

The second group of people I want to tell you about are the Shoreditch Sisters who are a Women's Institute group in east London.
Now if you are like me, your experience of the W.I would be watching the film Calendar Girls or the TV programme, 'Jam & Jerusalem.' So imagine my surprise when I looked at their blog and found vulva patchwork quilts and chocolate clitoris cupcakes!!
Seriously though, these group of women are amazing. Sitting alongside the cycling, crocheting and tie-dyeing are the campaigns against violence towards women and  female genital mutilation.
I met Lauren, Jamila, Martha & Emily in a park in Shoreditch in East London. We found a quiet area and sat on a blanket chatting about parts of your body that generally don't come up in polite conversation. The interviews were entertaining, inspiring and so interesting it was a while before I noticed a man was lying next to us, covering his ears and wailing loudly each time Emily mentioned her boobs!!!
Our time went so quickly, and it was only when my recording device was losing battery I realised we had been there for nearly 4 hours!! Thank you to the Shoreditch Sisters for an informative and fun afternoon and to Jamila's lovely dog, you are forgiven for peeing on my suitcase :)

The deadline for submissions for The Body Gossip Play is the end of August. I have a few more interviews booked in, but if you fancy taking part, either drop me a line, or clink on the Body Gossip link.

"When Anorexia Came To Visit." Introducing my guest Blogger......Bev Mattocks

How exciting. I have a visitor to my page! Not just any visitor, but a wonderful Woman who is the author of not one but two books highlighting the experiences of caring for a child with Anorexia.  I am very honoured to have my first guest blogger, Bev Mattocks talking about her new book, 'When Anorexia Came To Visit,' which I have recently purchased and am reading through teary eyes.

Introducing Bev Mattocks

The cupcake queen gets a sneak preview of my new book: “When Anorexia Came To Visit”

By Bev Mattocks

.

“How do I know you? How did you become my ‘friend’ on Facebook?” I asked the red-haired stranger in the pub where we were sharing a couple of cold drinks on the hottest Sunday of the year. I was en-route to the south coast and had asked if I could meet up with her for a chat.

“Probably via the Men Get Eating Disorders Too website?” she suggested. “Or your blog? To be honest, I’ve no idea!”

But anyway, there we were, chatting as if we’d known each other for ages. And in a way we had, ‘virtually’, through Facebook and so on – and, of course, through her wonderful book The Cupcake Queen Bites Back which I bought and reviewed the moment it was published.

I gingerly pushed another book across the table; the final printed proof of my new book When Anorexia Came To Visit: families talk about how an eating disorder invaded their lives. Jackie was the first person I’d showed it to and I’m always a little nervous of first impressions.

It’s my second book. The first was Please eat… a mother’s struggle to free her teenage son from anorexia, published in March 2013, which describes our own story of dealing with an eating disorder. Following on from this I was keen to see how it overlapped with other families’ experiences. So I put a few feelers out there via my various online networks. 20 families came back to me almost immediately, each happy to be interviewed for this new book, families with boys as well as girls and from all areas of the UK.

Within the pages of When Anorexia Came To Visit you will read many positive and inspirational stories of hope - of excellent GPs and healthcare professionals working with parents to get the child well. But you will also read stories where families have battled with, and in some cases are still battling with, inadequate services and treatment, especially evident once a child reaches the age of 18 and no longer qualifies for adolescent services.  

The primary purpose of this book is to help parents to identify the warning signs of an eating disorder and take prompt action – and to empower them to demand the best, evidence-based treatment for their child while drawing on the strategies that these 20 families found most helpful.

The other purpose is to highlight inconsistencies in the way eating disorder treatment is delivered across the UK – and to draw attention to the problems encountered at GP level where there is often a low awareness of the complexities and symptoms of eating disorders.

I was delighted when Professor Janet Treasure OBE agreed to write the Foreword for When Anorexia Came To Visit. Becky Henry, whose book Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders is the US-equivalent of mine and which inspired my book, volunteered to write the Preface. And Laura Collins, Founder of F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered And Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders) and author of Eating With Your Anorexic has written the Introduction.

Getting a son or daughter through an eating disorder is one of the toughest and most distressing things parents will ever do. But re-visiting painful memories is unbelievably tough, too. Yet each of the families I interviewed for this book willingly volunteered to come forward and describe their own struggles.

Not only did they agree to talk frankly about their experiences, they agreed to read through the various drafts I sent through for checking. In other words, being involved in this book meant having to re-visit distressing memories not once but several times over. This takes courage and commitment. It also demonstrates how much these families care about others - families they have never met who will read this book and hopefully draw inspiration, strength and hope from its pages.

Both of my books are available on Amazon and as Kindle downloads.

Bev Mattocks is the author of Please Eat… A mother’s struggle to free her teenage son from anorexia  http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0957511809

Her second book When anorexia came to visit: Families talk about how an eating disorder invaded their lives http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0957511841 has just been published, with a Foreword by Professor Janet Treasure OBE

Both are available on Amazon and as Kindle downloads

Visit Bev’s blog AnorexiaBoyRecovery http://anorexiaboyrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/

A Date To Remember. Happy Anniversary to me.......

Everyone has dates they remember, some fondly and some they choose to forget.

For me there are many...

March 17th 1967- My Birthday.

July 22nd 1985-the day I left home.

July 1987- my admission to hospital for Anorexia.

July 21st 1989-My wedding day to my Sons Dad.

December 1990-my first relapse.

February 1991-getting pregnant :)

November 21st 1991-My Sons Birthday

July 20th 1998- the day my first marriage broke up.

August 1998-Met Kev

July 1999-my second relapse.

2001-my third (hiccup)

July 19th 2005-My Dad died.

July 8th 2008- I married Kev :)

May 26th 2009- My best friend died. (we had fallen out and not spoken for over a year)

May 2010- my fourth relapse

November 2010-the decision to recover properly this time.

March 16th 2011-My Mum died.

March 16th 2012-Hip operation

 There are obviously a hell of a lot more, but I'm sure you are not interested in my first period, losing my virginity, first tattoo, having my ingrowing toenail done,when Toby first used his potty, as if I can actually remember!!

Anyway, back to today.

July 16th is my 2 year anniversary of being discharged from the eating disorders team, and I am celebrating with guilt free beans and cheese on toast with a can of cider.

I am often asked the question,'Do you ever recover fully from an eating disorder?' or 'How do I know I will never go back there?'

These are really difficult questions to answer as I cannot see into the future, but what I do have is belief in myself and a much deeper understanding of me and the illness. When I think back on how much time I have wasted, and how much energy I have put into Anorexia over the years it seems complete madness and it makes me feel sad.............

but I am not a negative person, and I can, and do see positives in the difficult periods of my life.

I wonder who I would be if I hadn't experienced a mental illness. Would I be the strong, motivated Woman that I am now, or would I still be a frightened, timid little girl trapped inside a Woman's body?

It is only through recovery that I have met some amazing people who have influenced and motivated me throughout my journey...alongside the best Family and friends you could want.

I know some have thought that now I am recovered that is it! Leave the world of e.d alone....but I can't do that. I have a strong passion for recovery and after years of suffering from low self-esteem I want to shout from the rooftops, "You are f*****g gorgeous and don't let anyone, especially society tell you otherwise."

So to all you reading this, happy Anniversary to me....and thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxxx

BodyLove

On Friday 28th July at 1 pm in London I shall be taking part in the first ever Body Love  Flash-mob organised by Body Gossip.  For those of you who have never heard of Body Gossip, it is a positive body image campaign  run by the wonderful Ruth Rogers & Natasha Devon who work endlessly to banish body shame and encourage everyone to be the best version of themselves (no cover versions here.)  I talk about them here, here and here.

I was first inspired by Body Gossip after coming across a video on you tube called 'This one is For You.' It was a poem written by a young woman with anorexia and amongst other things was what started me on my journey of discovery and writing. It has taken me a very long time to really appreciate myself for who I am as a person, and possibly even longer to see past the physical imperfections that I, like many others, may have focused on.  Body bashing can seriously damage your self esteem, so can full length mirrors and communal changing rooms!!!

Body Gossip are actively doing something to stop this. They are showing the great British public that you can be proud of who you are, no excuses, just un-apologetically you!

Since 2006 Body Gossip have made many other videos, been on TV with Gok Wan himself, published a book containing body stories from the general public as well as celebs, brought out their own range of 'rocking' T-Shirts and now the Flash-Mob.

Why a Flash-Mob you may ask?

Well, Body Gossip are asking us to write on a heart,the name of  a part of our body that we love,and show it to the world through twitter and facebook. This is a statement to show all those companies, magazines, who for financial gain constantly make us feel we are not good enough, not thin enough, not young enough, not firm enough that actually, yes we are enough....... because we are who we are, we are individuals, we are beautiful and we are unique. To quote Natasha Devon, we 'rock our own brand of gorgeous.'

So on Friday, I shall be joining a lot of other gorgeous people and I will be shouting out that I love my Bum :)

Why don't you join me and fight back against body shame. Say yes to Body Love.

kiss my ass :)

I was driven to write this blog by the influx of weight loss promotional crap that I have come across on the book of face this evening and I have to say I am truly peed off with it!!!

As I look at the rather unflattering picture here of me taken yesterday on a charity 5k run I see the following;

strength, determination and positivity. I can see past the extra inches I am carrying around my waist, the double chin or the thighs which have thankfully doubled in size over the past 2 years. That is no longer important. What is important is how I feel about myself, how I see myself and that is so much more than fitting into a size 8 jeans (UK size ;)

Now I will tell you I committed the immortal sin recently. I weighed myself!!! Not because I was concerned, but because I was interested. I have not known my weight for a very long time. 

I needed to know how my weight would affect me, I know that could have been a risk but in the back of my mind I always stayed positive, not about the number, but about my reaction.

I also knew that for total recovery I needed to know how this affected me and I was pleased :)

My weight is the heaviest it has ever been, except when I was pregnant, and I am OK with that. The number had no effect on me whatsoever. It has made no difference to who I am, how I feel about myself....apart from I now can evidence that I am seriously worth so much more than a number.

Today I saw an advert on a bus saying, 'do you feel like the back of a bus,'well my ass may be growing and catching the bus up, but what I have to say to you and to facebook ads is, I love my ass, I don't want to buy your slimming exercise pants, I love me, so kiss this :)