Everyone has dates they remember, some fondly and some they choose to forget.
For me there are many...
March 17th 1967- My Birthday.
July 22nd 1985-the day I left home.
July 1987- my admission to hospital for Anorexia.
July 21st 1989-My wedding day to my Sons Dad.
December 1990-my first relapse.
February 1991-getting pregnant :)
November 21st 1991-My Sons Birthday
July 20th 1998- the day my first marriage broke up.
August 1998-Met Kev
July 1999-my second relapse.
2001-my third (hiccup)
July 19th 2005-My Dad died.
July 8th 2008- I married Kev :)
May 26th 2009- My best friend died. (we had fallen out and not spoken for over a year)
May 2010- my fourth relapse
November 2010-the decision to recover properly this time.
March 16th 2011-My Mum died.
March 16th 2012-Hip operation
There are obviously a hell of a lot more, but I'm sure you are not interested in my first period, losing my virginity, first tattoo, having my ingrowing toenail done,when Toby first used his potty, as if I can actually remember!!
Anyway, back to today.
July 16th is my 2 year anniversary of being discharged from the eating disorders team, and I am celebrating with guilt free beans and cheese on toast with a can of cider.
I am often asked the question,'Do you ever recover fully from an eating disorder?' or 'How do I know I will never go back there?'
These are really difficult questions to answer as I cannot see into the future, but what I do have is belief in myself and a much deeper understanding of me and the illness. When I think back on how much time I have wasted, and how much energy I have put into Anorexia over the years it seems complete madness and it makes me feel sad.............
but I am not a negative person, and I can, and do see positives in the difficult periods of my life.
I wonder who I would be if I hadn't experienced a mental illness. Would I be the strong, motivated Woman that I am now, or would I still be a frightened, timid little girl trapped inside a Woman's body?
It is only through recovery that I have met some amazing people who have influenced and motivated me throughout my journey...alongside the best Family and friends you could want.
I know some have thought that now I am recovered that is it! Leave the world of e.d alone....but I can't do that. I have a strong passion for recovery and after years of suffering from low self-esteem I want to shout from the rooftops, "You are f*****g gorgeous and don't let anyone, especially society tell you otherwise."
So to all you reading this, happy Anniversary to me....and thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxxx
Happy Anniversary Jackie!!! And yes you are fucking gorgeous; and just a little bit awesome, too ;-) xxx
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