After such a positive few days and the Christmas festivities to look forward to, I woke in a brilliant mood. The snow is still on the floor although you are taking your life into your hands when venturing outside.
It was difficult to gather the motivation to eat today, primarily as I didn't feel hungry! It is very difficult to make yourself eat when you are physically not hungry and not in the mindset for food...so I sat down and wrote a list, a list of reasons to eat, reasons for recovery and here it is..
1. To live and not just exist.
2. To be healthy.
3. I want to enjoy social times with my family and friends.
4. I do not want to be different or have a label.
5. I want to get back at work and have a purpose.
6. To be able to focus on daily things without thinking about food all of the time.
7. To feel warm again.
8. To be a positive role model to my son.
There will no doubt be more I can add as time goes on but i think these are my priority. I deliberately did not put 'To look good' as I am trying to take the focus away from how I look on the outside and to put it onto my physical and emotional health and well being. I hope that if anyone reading this is going through food and body image issues at the moment can maybe take something from this and focus on the positive sides of getting better.
When you write a list of pros and cons of having an eating disorder there are no real benefits!!
Take care and keep well. xx