Monday, 3 October 2016

Please don't tell me..

Please don't tell me I look well....

How you perceive me on the outside is not how I am feeling on the inside.
'Looking well'  is not being picked up by the police in the early hours of the morning after worrying your friends and family half to death...
'Looking well' does not tell you how I sleep at night, trying to shut up the dark thoughts which remain with me the next day.
'Looking well' does not explain how one day I can be bright, animated and fun; but the next the smile slips, the brightness dims, my heart is numb.
'Looking well' does not show you how many times I weighed myself this morning. How I went from elation to desperation in a period of a few seconds and how my whole day is now focused on that number.
'Looking well' is screaming 'why?'
'Looking well' is making my heart bleed.
I have no care for how I look, I just know I do not feel well.

Dear Jackie

You may recall my 'Dear Body' post, if you haven't read it, you can find it  here . After writing to my Body I then had t...