A letter to a 'Friend.'

Dear Friend,

You came into my life many years ago and have never left.  You always turn up uninvited, without warning, giving me no time to prepare for the chaos and distress you bring to my life and those around me.
I may not see you for years on end, but you are always at the back of my mind.
let me tell you that those years you were not around were the best years of my life.....
You have influenced me, gave me motivation, control and a numbness from things I found difficult to cope with in my life.
But...you also lied to me, controlled my thoughts, my feelings, my actions.  For this you are never forgiven.
You turned me into a liar, a cheat, a manipulative person who hurt those around me, those who care.
You threatened my health, my friendships, my relationships, my self esteem and self image....and continue to do so If I allow you to.
I am often scared to let you go, scared of losing something special and part of my identity.....but with that loss comes hope, a new beginning, a future a life.
You have moulded me into the person I am today....a strong, positive and determined woman who can and will fight.  For this, Dear friend, I thank you.

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