Saturday, 5 February 2011

This one goes out to the one I love.

To my dear Husband...
I  know you wont read this.  Its not that you are not interested in what I have to say, you do...but I realise you find it difficult to cope with.
I understand you have been here before with me.  You knew my history when we first met me, you never judged, have always loved me for who I am, not what I look like or what shape I am.  You love the person from within.  You have supported me with so much and still stuck by me.
I remember when you came to a support group with me many years ago.  It scared you. You were faced with women who had fought eating disorders for most of their lives, you were scared that that was going to be me.  Was this thing something we would manage for the rest of our lives?
But I beat it, I came back, and you loved and supported me the same.
I didn't plan it to happen again...it just crept up on me. Waiting for a moment of weakness to grab me and tear my life apart.
I hate to see you suffer, to see you sad, helpless not knowing what to say and do.
Today you went out and bought me a weight watchers meal in the hope that I would eat something.
You said you were worried again.  I told you not to be.  I don't know what to say to make you feel better, to stop you worrying about me, about us, about our future.
Please believe I have not given up, I have so much more to give to our life, many things to see and do and to share with you.
To my dear husband, I love you more than you would ever know. xxxx

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