Thursday, 17 May 2012

Day 17 Attitude makeover

Think about what you feel pessimistic about, frustrated about or are struggling with, either now or at some point in the past. What were/are those issues? What stops/stopped you from making changes? What do you need/ did you need to confront those issues? Can you make plans to take steps to change? If you have done this, were you able to make changes? What challenges can you set yourself for the future? (Remember to make them realistic and achievable!)

I used to joke about going off sick from work with a bad attitude, or possibly a bad hair day!!
I read a friends blog earlier where she spoke about the difficulties with taking compliments.
In a way my attitude change is slightly similar.

I had never seen my self as pretty never mind beautiful.  We all use the same old cliches of 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' 'real beauty comes from within,' but when it comes down to it this has been something I had always had difficulties with.
I am well aware of how I got there, its true if you tell someone something enough times they start to believe it!!
I had always had issues with self esteem and was always quite a shy person.  In a way I still am but my loudness overshadows the person within.
I can remember as a young girl never being able to cross a zebra crossing.  I feared that I was so invisible that noone would notice me so would hang around looking in the shop window until another person stopped the traffic.  I would dread ringing the bell before my bus stop, thinking that if i was the only one to get off everyone would be staring at me.
Thankfully as i got older I was able to cross the road on my own and could manage to get off public transport!!  
I never believed that I would be good enough for someone to love let alone have a relationship or get married.  I could never understand why anyone would want to be friends with me.
It took a long time to love myself and even now I can find myself doubting.
I look around me at what I have achieved in my life, the people I have around me, my family, my Son, the work that I do,the battles I have won.......
If I was a horrible and ugly person I wouldn't have these things. 
All I needed was a little self belief, self love and positivity.  

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