Wednesday, 25 January 2012

temptation

So far  I have gone 7 days, 21 hours and 44 minutes without a cigarette, although after I have finished writing this It will be near to 8 whole days. Have I been tempted to have one in the past week? Not until now.......
I have been able to let go of things that have happened in my past, people that have hurt me intentionally or not, situations that have been out of my control but today I was reminded of an individual that I despise with every inch of my being.  The anger and hurt that I felt a year ago was back again like my heart was being wrenched out, my trust and faith in friendship again felt shattered.  I felt vulnerable, fragile  and wide open.  I felt pain for the hurt caused to those close to me, those taken in by ‘its’ manipulation.  I wanted to damage ‘it’ physically and emotionally and make them feel my pain and that of those they have dragged down with them.
But, I haven’t had a cigarette.  I haven’t resorted to previous coping mechanisms.  I am a better person than that and will get over this, with the help of a lovely glass of rose J

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