Thursday, 6 January 2011

Support.

No, I'm not talking magic knickers, spandex or push-up bras!!  Although I do have enough of these support under garments to hold up the Clifton suspension bridge.
I'm talking about support groups.
I went to my first group over ten years ago along with my Husband, he understandably found it very difficult and has not attended one since.  I think you need to be in the right frame of mind, a recovery frame of mind to take part in these groups as It is all to easy to compare yourself or 'feed' from the others around you.
I went to a local group in October which at that time I did not feel was right for me.  I went again last night and I'm glad I did.
It was a small gathering, people from different backgrounds, different ages, different stories..but all sharing a common goal, wanting to change, to make a life change and not to be controlled by food or their thoughts about food and eating.
I initially felt myself too 'fat' to go and joked about it, this is a common misconception during recovery, 'Am I ill enough,' 'Am I eating Normally', 'I look better so I must be ok.'
I have challenged myself over the past few months and with the date of returning to work looming I am questioning myself, my motives and how I really feel about recovery.
Listening to the group last night I am not alone. I could almost hear myself when others were speaking, they shared the same concerns, fears and hopes.  At one point I was crying as I was explaining how I felt about the physical changes to my body, how from the outside I may look like I'm getting 'better', but on the inside I still struggle and fight with myself on a daily basis.....when shopping today I picked up some bathroom scales, put them in my basket, continued with my shopping then went back and replaced them on the shelf.
I have tears as I write this, I'm so pleased I didn't buy them.
Its such a shame that SWEDA are only able to hold groups monthly, but they do have a telephone and msn support available.
I have attached a link in case anyone reading in the south west of England,needs their support.
http://www.swedauk.org/index.htm

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