Everyone has dates they remember, some fondly and some they choose to forget.
For me there are many...
March 17th 1967- My Birthday.
July 22nd 1985-the day I left home.
July 1987- my admission to hospital for Anorexia.
July 21st 1989-My wedding day to my Sons Dad.
December 1990-my first relapse.
February 1991-getting pregnant :)
November 21st 1991-My Sons Birthday
July 20th 1998- the day my first marriage broke up.
August 1998-Met Kev
July 1999-my second relapse.
2001-my third (hiccup)
July 19th 2005-My Dad died.
July 8th 2008- I married Kev :)
May 26th 2009- My best friend died. (we had fallen out and not spoken for over a year)
May 2010- my fourth relapse
November 2010-the decision to recover properly this time.
March 16th 2011-My Mum died.
March 16th 2012-Hip operation
There are obviously a hell of a lot more, but I'm sure you are not interested in my first period, losing my virginity, first tattoo, having my ingrowing toenail done,when Toby first used his potty, as if I can actually remember!!
Anyway, back to today.
July 16th is my 2 year anniversary of being discharged from the eating disorders team, and I am celebrating with guilt free beans and cheese on toast with a can of cider.
I am often asked the question,'Do you ever recover fully from an eating disorder?' or 'How do I know I will never go back there?'
These are really difficult questions to answer as I cannot see into the future, but what I do have is belief in myself and a much deeper understanding of me and the illness. When I think back on how much time I have wasted, and how much energy I have put into Anorexia over the years it seems complete madness and it makes me feel sad.............
but I am not a negative person, and I can, and do see positives in the difficult periods of my life.
I wonder who I would be if I hadn't experienced a mental illness. Would I be the strong, motivated Woman that I am now, or would I still be a frightened, timid little girl trapped inside a Woman's body?
It is only through recovery that I have met some amazing people who have influenced and motivated me throughout my journey...alongside the best Family and friends you could want.
I know some have thought that now I am recovered that is it! Leave the world of e.d alone....but I can't do that. I have a strong passion for recovery and after years of suffering from low self-esteem I want to shout from the rooftops, "You are f*****g gorgeous and don't let anyone, especially society tell you otherwise."
So to all you reading this, happy Anniversary to me....and thank you, thank you, thank you. xxxxx