"Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home!"
~ Carol Nelson ~
If you ask most people, Families and Christmas equal stress!! The buying of the presents, the expectation of a perfect day with a wonderful meal. You should be the domestic goddess, party planner and peace keeper all rolled into one. By the end of the day you are knackered, not wanting to eat and feel as flat as the bangs in the crackers.
Despite this, what I would give to have this year on Christmas Day, my Mum, Dad and Gran all sat around the table pulling the crackers with the dodgy bangs and eating the overcooked Turkey and soggy sprouts!. Dad would say 'I cant eat all this,' like he did every meal time. Mum would be fussing and was always the last to sit down and eat. Gran....well we would be lucky if her teeth would manage to stay in throughout the meal!!
But as life begins life ends....
I do have a wonderful Husband and an amazing Son but sometimes especially at Christmas the loss of both Parents still filters through..There are so many memory triggers, some good, some not so good, but I have learnt to deal with these.
What I have missed with my Family I have made up with friends. Friends who have supported me and been there in my darkest hours. Friends who I have lost sleep over, cried over and laughed with. These are part of my family. I have had many fun and at times emotional Christmases with these special people.
I am also lucky enough to have several beautiful nieces and nephew's, 4 of whom will be spending part of the holidays with us along with my younger Sister. I think this year will be a different Christmas for us, taking me back to the magical Christmas times when Toby a child. Believing in Santa,,leaving sherry and mince pies out for him and a carrot for the reindeer.
One good thing about being eating disorder free is I can eat the mince pie, raw carrots will not be on the agenda!